I closed my eyes and slipped away with you ~ if only for a few moments ~ bliss.

So it was another crazy morning, as so many of them in December have been. 

The night before, I had come home very late Christmas evening from Amber's.

It was the coldest night of the year ~ and as I opened my door it felt as if I was walking into an oven.

I quickly discovered the problem was a broken thermostat. 

I could have the heat on ~ but it wouldn't turn off.
Exhausted, I decided to turn the heat OFF, throw an extra down comforter on the bed and call it a night.

But it was so cold.

So I called the apartment emergency number and was told *someone* would call me.

Seconds later, the phone rang. 

It was him ... Alberto.

I was cold, tired and not really hearing what he was telling me. How a simple battery replacement would solve the problem.  But I couldn't find the way to get to the batteries.
I was frustrated. He was patient, as always.

 He offered to drive over and help me fix a very simple problem.

I declined the offer of, "I can be there in 20 minutes" and went to bed ~ cold.

Damn cold!

The next morning the knock woke me up. I'd finally fallen asleep after shivering until at 3am. 

I jumped out of bed forgetting that it could be Alberto on the other side of the door.

I rang out, "Hold on, I'm getting dressed!"

My hair was a mess, my teeth weren't brushed, I threw on some jeans and a light sweatshirt and rushed to the door.

The furtherest thing from my mind was any kind of sensual encounter... 

I was freezing, I looked atrocious and I was having to leave for work in about an hour.

But apparently Alberto wasn't thinking of any of that.

As I explained what was wrong with the thermostat, he flipped down the cover, replaced two AA batteries and the heat came on instantly warming us! 

Seconds later I felt him turn towards me, hold me gently and smell my hair. 

The rest was history.

He turned my face toward his, and squeezed me so tightly pressing me against his chest.

It felt like he wanted to be the heat source that was going to warm me up. 

Since he's taller than me, he started by nuzzling my hair and then kissing my head....

Then it happened. 

Something that hasn't happened to me in quite awhile.

He lifted up my chin and glanced into my eyes. First he kissed me softly as he squeezed me closer to him. Then that gentleness turned passionate and he kissed me intently while squeezing me so tightly I could hardly breathe. 

Time flew by.

A nuclear explosion could have gone off and I don't think it would have stopped us.

I could faintly hear a phone ringing ~ but I thought it was just my alarm.

After three more calls, I realized someone desperately needed Alberto.

But I clung tightly.

At that moment, no one needed Alberto more than I did...

No one...

Alberto...

23 September 2015

Alberto 

It was a normal March day, sunny, warm with a slight breeze. I was cleaning my new apartment. Feeling productive and in an unusually good mood. About then someone knocked on my door. It was the apartment’s head maintenance guy, Alberto. He had become a friend of mine over the past six months. He went out of his way to greet me, always friendly and always there when I needed something done in my apartment. He was as sweet as they come. 

But then one day that all changed.

He came to my apartment to fix something. And we chatted. He was overly friendly and we both talked about being lonely. He was astonished that I didn’t have anyone in my life saying, “Look at you!”  Besides the ego boost at that moment, it was also obvious he was flirting. Something that I haven’t experienced since moving to San Diego. We chatted more. I said I hadn’t seen him around for awhile and he revealed that he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer and had been off work for about a month. 

The more we chatted the more I grew to like this guy. We hugged and he said he wanted to share a bottle of wine sometime. That sounded divine to me. He is a handsome, rugged man, who moved here from Mexico 38 years ago. So we decided to make plans to do that.

The next couple of months I was working two jobs and always gone. I rarely saw him and when I did I only had time for a quick wave!  But one day we stopped and chatted and I said “Let’s get together sometime!” A rather brave comment from me. And he said, “When?? You’re always gone!” So we made a date. When he came to my apartment that night he said he’d be off work in about an hour and we could get together. I suggested maybe getting a bite to eat and asked if we could go to an authentic Mexican restaurant. He said, “okay” and said he’d come back a bit later.

When he did come back he said something came up and it’d be 9 or so before he got off work. I said, “ok, another time!” He agreed. I gave him my phone number since I was rarely around and said, “Call me!”  We hugged and he left.

That was probably April. Since that time he’s basically ignored me. No waves, no acknowledgment that I even existed. I figured I came on too strong by suggesting dinner instead of a glass of wine.  But for me, I wanted to be somewhere public, not in my apartment complex. Not on a first “date”. I also then assumed that this man was married. So I let it go. Goodbye, Alberto. Thanks for the ego boost, but you lied to me. Adios Amigo!

But the whole situation bothered me. HE came onto ME! To me he was just a friend, nothing more. When he flirted with me in my apartment I was flattered. He’s a good looking man and quite friendly. So what the hell did I do wrong. For months I considered walking up to him and saying, “Listen guy YOU came onto ME! Not the other way around. I was just suggesting changing the venue! What’s up with that???” 

I never did. I simply lacked the courage to do it.

But today, six months later, an opportunity presented itself. Or rather I just took advantage of the opportunity ~ there had been several others. I was walking down the apartment complex and saw him alone near his outdoor office. I walked towards him. He glanced at me and looked away. I motioned for him to come to me, signaling I wanted to talk to him. But he stood rigid. I kept walking. When I got close I whispered, “Can we talk?” He moved closer and smiled. I’m not sure exactly what I said, but I told him I’ve been wanting to talk to him for a long, long time. That he was my friend and I was sad that changed. I said I apologize if he felt I came on too strong (knowing that I didn’t, but putting some of this on me). That I merely wanted to be friends and never meant anything more. He put his arms around me and started to cry. He said, “You did nothing wrong. I am very attracted to you and that is the problem.” While he didn’t admit he was married, it was obvious he is. He stepped back and looked at me and stroked my hair. I started to cry and he wiped the tears from my eyes.  Then from his own. We both stood there not knowing what to say, but feeling strongly drawn to one another. 

I told him I have a strong belief in God and that I would never be involved with or even come on to a man who was married or living with someone.

He used the old cliché, in broken English, “it’s not you, it’s me. My life is difficult. But I am weak.” I said, “No you’re not weak, you’re strong to avoid a situation that is morally not right to you.” He said, “No, if I was strong I would not be attracted to you.” I disagreed. I said, “Alberto, those feelings are not in our control. How you handle them are. You are doing what is right. I want to be your friend. I want you to be able to talk to me… no strings attached.” He smiled and brushed my cheek.

At this point he was sweating profusely because it was very hot outside and he works very hard and was taking a break (until I walked up!) So we moved into the shade and hugged again. He said, “for now we are friends, but someday I hope to be more than friends with you.” 

I said, “We shall see, Alberto when and if that day comes. I like you. I respect you and your situation and won't do anything to hurt you or anyone else.” 

We hugged.

As I turned and walked away … he grabbed my arm.  But I kept walking and didn’t look back. His hand slid down my arm and I paused briefly as our fingers touched. Then I broke away and started walking back toward my apartment. I could feel his eyes watching me and hear him softly say, “Janice…” Not really wanting me to hear. Not really wanting me to turn around. But maybe wanting me to know that he is torn.  

Today I achieved something that I wanted to do. Explain my feelings for him and let him know I meant nothing more than to be his friend.

That was not entirely true. But now that I know the circumstances ~ it is.

I hope someday to wrap my arms around Alberto again. If not to love him, at least to comfort a man who appears very troubled.

Alberto. You are a good man!

Why Writing is Important to My Business Success

I’ve been a writer my entire career. But I’ve written for basically one audience: television news viewers. Over the years, I found that what I was doing was telling people what just happened. Not how to fix it. Not how to avoid the same kind of problems their neighbor or someone across town just encountered. I merely told them it happened. Sure, I’d try to offer some quick fix on where they could look for answers, but the crux of my writing was spreading word about the misfortune of others.

For that reason, I began to sour on writing news. I wanted to use my skill with a pen (or more appropriately a laptop) for another purpose. To help people find answers or solutions to the many problems we all face.  To give people hope, not fill them with despair by writing about all the potentially criminal or dangerous things going on around them.

But I didn’t know where to start.  I decided to try cutting my chops as a Copywriter. I know I can write solid content, but I didn’t know where to start to acquire clients. So I began working as an intern under an established Copywriter. It was grueling work for no pay. I must say the most important thing that I learned is that I have a LOT to learn about becoming a Copywriter.  One thing was painfully clear: you need to produce valuable content without coming across like you’re preaching, promoting or selling ~ when you probably really are.

As an intern I did get experience writing to various different audiences. I’d write about things I knew nothing about. Sometimes I spent hours researching a blog subject like “storing refurbished electronic components” when I didn’t even know what a “refurbished electronic component” was.  After gathering all the knowledge I could on a subject I really cared nothing about, I was then tasked with writing passionately about it in a way that would strike a chord with anyone searching for new and informative copy on how to store “refurbished electronic components”. That was a challenge. One that I realized taxed my writing ability. Not only did I have to write intelligently about a subject I knew nothing about, I had to think like the person in the audience I was writing to and speak on “their level” so I didn’t come across as an idiot. 

It was a task that dramatically reshaped my writing and mental skills. It’s almost like taking on a new persona. Putting yourself in someone’s mindset so you know what he or she is looking for before they do. Know the audience’s potential questions so you can provide the answers. Then the copy also has to look pleasing to the eye. If you’re writing about the “5 Most Important Tips to Winterize your Car” you need to come up with those five tips and make them easily accessible with bullet points, graphics or some kind of illustration that makes them visibly stand out.  Then after you’ve produced this verbal masterpiece, you need to come up with a provocative headline that grabs their attention and gets them to click on the link that leads them to your article.

Once they do that your copy has to shine! If your words don’t grab them in that first sentence or paragraph, they’re moving on. There are simply too many options vying for their attention. Just like in the lead paragraph of a television news script – you’ve got about 10 seconds (or 10-20 words in Copywriting) to reach them.

Yes, being a solid writer is more than vital to my business. It is the lifeblood. I have to find the proper words and sentence structure that turns ordinary words and sentences into extraordinary copy. Copy that grabs the reader from the beginning, hangs onto to them and ultimately gets them to help you achieve you or your client’s goal: either promoting information, services or products.

Ordinary writing just won’t do.